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One Card to Rule them All

TRUTHStream Media has knocked it out of the park with this satire promo of the new “e-Residency” program being offered by Estonia, which is a kissing cousin to the “Real IDs” that are being rolled out all over the world.

TRANSCRIPT

“Welcome to your future! A digitally-interdependent, hyper-connected, networked world! Throw off the tethers of ordinary reality and join the digitized multitudes ruled by global e-governance, with your very own New World Citizen of the People’s Federated Republic of the Great Democratic United Global States, Incorporated Chip Card!

“Just one chip is now a key to every relevant database you are in on Earth! We’re taking identification to a technocratic level beyond Aldous Huxley’s wildest dreams and George Orwell’s nightmares!

“One chip, linked to your Unique Citizen Number connects to all of your relevant societal business, including your passport, your driver’s license and all Federation-required licenses, titles and registrations! Your car, home and medical insurance, all of your medical records, including your mandatory annual psychological evaluation, your DNA profile and your prescriptions, your voter registration and history and your bank account and digital Universal Basic Income Credits – but that’s not all! Your blockchain-protected New World Citizen Chip also gives you a digital footprint everywhere you go on the web, from online news sources to all of your social media accounts, authenticating you online, to ensure a safe, peaceful and secure society, where no one can offend anyone else, because no one can hide!

“Continuous real-time 24/7 tracking and tracing will ensure a truly peaceful, digital utopia for all! No more fear of identity theft or forgetting those pesky passwords, as your Digital Citizen Mark will be biometrically-verified through your fingerprints, iris and EEG, voice print and facial map. From Cairo, to Rome, to Ingolstadt, to Paris, to Washington, to Estonia and Astana!

“From ocean to ocean to ocean to – heck, all of the oceans! Being a Digital Resident offers you a new concept of freedom: to be a Global Citizen under your borderless, digital New World Order!

“[May be incompatible with faith and the actual definition of freedom. Databases wholly-owned and operated by the People’s Federated Republic of the great Democratic United World States, Incorporated and their subsidiaries. Your digital citizenship is legally-binding and data may be shared with third parties listed in Subsection 187-C.2, without your express knowledge or consent. These terms and conditions are subject to change at any time, which is fine, because they are 8,642 pages long and we know no one is reading the fine print! Travel allowed only in pre-approved chip-validated mega-regions and not including for Core Reserve Sustainable Development Zones, as designated by the United Nations Convention on Biological Diversity. Online behaviors deemed negative or harmful are subject the UBI Digital credit deduction without notice, up to and including account termination. See User Agreement for further details.]

“Our SmartGrid Network touches every corner of the globe. It’s one digital New World and your chip is your portal to it, so apply today, to authenticate and secure your Digital Citizenship. Because if you didn’t do anything wrong you shouldn’t have anything to hide – and in this brave new world – you won’t be able to.”

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