Hillarys Cribs Shock Young People

I like to think of the Clintons as “Reverse Carpetbaggers”. They swooped up from the Southern town of Little Rock, Arkansas to Chappaqua, New York in fancy-pants Westchester County, to exploit all those Wall Street people.

The Clintons bought the $1.4M (now worth $2.4M) mansion in Chappaqua in 2000, in order for Hillary to claim New York Residency, so that she could miraculously qualify to run as Senator of a State in which she’d never lived.

The Clintons bought the house 17 weeks before they left the White House, “dead broke”, as she described it, during a time about which Hillary stated that they’d “struggled” to get by, financially.

Yet, despite their grinding poverty, they bought a mansion in Washington, DC’s Embassy Row soon afterwards for $2.85M (now worth $5.7M). 

To be fair, this clip is misleading. The first Hamptons property shown, on the East End of Long Island, New York with a sale price of $11M was never owned by the Clintons. They merely rented the Southampton McMansion in August of 2013 for a cool $200k.

The other beachfront property shown, previously valued at $13M (now valued at $18M) is in Amagansett, NY, a hamlet of East Hampton Town. The Clintons rented this fancy joint for three weeks during August of 2014 for a thrifty $100k, while Hillary pondered whether or not she would make the Presidential run in 2016. 

The Clintons were apparently trying to “slum it” that year, as this rental came a few weeks after the multi-millionairess’ “struggled to get by” gaffe had triggered a fecal hurricane – which likely caused in Hillary what many New Yorkers refer to as “agita” (she doesn’t know what this means – the same way she doesn’t know how to use a subway card).

She was eventually forced to admit that she regretted crying broke saying, “It was in-artful.”

This word choice raises inevitable comparisons to George W Bush’s infamous “Dyslexicon” revealing the inner workings of the bloodthirsty psychopaths, which they are both. “We came, we saw, he died! Hahaha!”

The Republican connections don’t stop there. Both Hamptons properties were owned by Republican donors to her campaigns – because, in truth Hillary is a warhawk Neocon and she may as well be a Republican. In fact, she was originally a very active Republican while at college, as President of the Wellesley Young Republicans Club. (I’m not really sure why she wasn’t in Cleveland all week).

It gets better: Hillary even invests like a Republican! Although a longtime supporter of the Estate Tax, she and Bill are actively avoiding the nosebleed taxes of Westchester County by splitting the ownership of their Chappaqua property 50-50 into separate trusts. This is a common way that the 1% manage to shrink the size of their taxable estates.

Residence trusts like the ones created by the Clintons do not show the (so far) $1M appreciation in the house’s value and also create set terms, after which the tax liability of the property can be transferred away and moved entirely outside of the estate. 

Even though Donald Trump dealt a death blow to the Republican Party this week, I’m not telling Republicans to vote for Hillary, although I suspect that many will, because she’s much more of a modern-day, big-government, warmongering, unipolar Republican than Donald Trump is, as he wants to stop wasting the public Treasury on endless wars and to stop the US’ pointless enmity with Russia (pointless to all but the US’ Wehrmacht, of which Hillary is a confirmed supplicant).

I just thought these were fun facts about the former First Lady, former New York Senator and former Secretary of State – and hopefully, the future nobody.